Batjokes Reaction
by dianabananaontiveros
Summary: It's Valentine's day. Batman spends some hours with Joker. But, then he goes to the watchtower with red kisses and flowers. How will the Justice League and the Batfamily react to Batman's marks left by his mysterious lover? After all, the Dark knight always dissapears in Valentine's day.


I don't own any of the characters. Warning M.

12:00

It was valentine's day. Bruce was in a rush. Not that he was before, but now he had a boyfriend.

A year ago, Joker had bombs through the whole city. It was not a normal dance, it was the FINAL dance, but the thing was that Joker seem to be more sad than happy for the GREAT LAST day of their dance.

However once Batman catched him, something happened, Joker started to cry. It got really emotional, Bruce punched and hit him, but the Joker didn't fight back.

Flashback

Two enemies fighing each other on a roof. It was rainning, cold, and windy. The GCPD surrouded the builing. Helicopters from the news and the police were reporting the events and catching the goons left behind by Batman.

Joker standed in the roof looking at the city, but then his expression chanced. He was depressed, though the years he realized he had to kill Bats one day, or Bats kill him. But he didn't want to kill the whole legacy of Batman. He couldn't kill the Robins, look what it brought in the past. Batman started to hate him and any chance of a new dance was gone with Jason's death. So, he decided that, maybe, just maybe he could bring Batman down with him. Insted of killing his legacy.

Meaning killing the Robins, because that was the only way Bruce would break his rule and kill him, and Joker coundn't kill Batman, what would Joker do without his Bats; become sane again and forget about Batman, no, no, no, no, no. That is Joker's fear, ha, ha, ha, funny.

As for the Joker's legacy, he told his buddy girl, Harley to recreate the scene on ACE chemicals, just like the day he was born, a new Joker. But only IF, Joker died at the Final Dance.

He knows his Bat can't live withot him, so he will save him the trouble of mouring him. It was easy, put bombs in all Gotham. At first the rogue galery of villians said 'no' because they neened their playground, they needed Gotham. But Joker was not going to kill the whole city, it was just to make a great show for the final dance and to lure the Batman out.

Now, he just wished the things were different. He wanted the Bat so badly. So, so bad, he started to cry silently.

The door was broken. It was Batman, he walked to the Joker, but he was still looking at the city, their city.

"Joker" Batman growled like many nights.

Joker just laughed when a building, no one was there exploted in the distance.

Batman just did what he always did, he punched the Joker in the head. Joker fell to the floor, but he laughed harder. Batman punched him in the stomach.

Then the leg, head again, arm, head again, arms...

Joker couldn't stand it anymore. The Bat made him cry louder. Batman stopped, he just couldn't believe it.

The Joker was crying.

"Umm... Joker?" He couldn't believe he was going to ask this but... "Joker are you ok?"

Years of conforting his sons taught him something. Batman was still alert. But the !!!MOTHER!! side of Bruce actived.

He hugged the Joker. Waiting for a knife or something. He rubbed Joker's back.

When Joker felt Batman's hug, he just wanted a time machine, he just came closer to Batman.

Flashback end

And now they were something else. Of course no one knows, imagine the kids, nah. They would kill him and then go away, and never comeback, and no calls. But, Bruce prefered Joker's commpany because he could be freely with him around.

#BeingFreeAround

Either way he was going with Joker now. He was in the Batcave. Getting ready his gift for the Joker. He broke out of a Arkham a few week ago. He hoped his kids didn't catch him. Though it was probably not, because they were working with the JLA now, and the JLA is hard on everyone. Well... me, the leader. But anyways this was their first day in the watchtower.

Good thing I always take valentine's day off.

1:00 Am

"Batsy, Darling" Joker was in top of a car extending his hands at the air. He jumped and run to Batman. He kissed him in the cheek. Bruce just hold him tight to him.

He had a big grin on his face. Batman went to the car and grabbed the gift box. He walked to the Joker in gave it to him. "Oh, Darling" He just purr to the Bat's ear. Which send chills though Bruce's spine. Joker opened the box. It was makeup, the best quality in Gotham. "Oh... you shouldn't..."

Joker just hugged Batman. "Joker"

"Yes, darling?"

Batman kisssed Joker. "Oh, yeah, here"

Joker gave a gift box to Batman. It had bats and it was black. Inside was a weapon. "What is this?"

"I stole it from Waller, is a weapon that erases the memory, from 1 day to 3 weeks, depends on what you want, I thought it would be useful if someone discovers your secret identity" Joker smiled.

"Thank you, this is really useful" They just kissed again. More romantic. Batman started to bite Joker's neck. "You know, this means you can only kill me, no one else, Batsy"

"Don't worry at this rate I will be down with you too"

"Ahhahahaha"

4:00 Am (They're gods)

Batman was heading towards Gotham, he still had patrol to do, and in the morning he had to rest his body, specifically, his ass. And liver. Damn with Joker. Can't stay out of his skin.

"Founders we have a problem, come to the watchtower" In valentine's day? People have things to do. Tt, Bruce just went to the zeta tubes. With the gift, chocolate box in form of a heart, and flowers. Oh boy, his kids were here, they were going to ask him a lot of things.

The heroes just looked at him, silently, more than usual. "What happen?" Flash came to him. He looked surprised. "Come with me"

The Dark Knight walked to the room. Everyone was shoked, including his kids.

"What?" Asked Bruce tired of their faces.

"Well, it's just that, we thought you didn't do nothing on Valentine's day" said Hal. "And who is the lucky girl?" Asked Flash. "Yeah" said Wonder Woman who clearly seem jealous that Batman always said 'no' to her, and now he had someone.

"That's... um, privite"

Superman was just looking at him with a smile. Stupid Boyscout, one may as well mess up with him. Bruce knows Lois said 'no' to him.

This could be fun, and more with his ungrateful brats (because when he woke up, they put paint all over him, talking about fun times) that he loved a lot like to killed them with kisses.

"Well, you know, not all people can go out with multiple people at a time in one day, and that doesn't make me a whore"

Ha. The fun part was that no one knew he was bi. Oliver of course who was his friend from college, knows what this means. He was acting bitchy, and so he follwed the game. "Yeah that is so right, Supes I thought you'd be apsent because of that reporter of yours."

Superman stopped smiling. "No, she is not... my girlfriend or anything" he looked hurt. Bruce thought it was fun, as well as Oliver.

Jason had never seen Bruce act like a bitch. I mean, people who are experts on reading faces, specially Bruce's face, know that he is acting like a bitch towards Superman. Though he smiled because he hated the alien. But he was surprised. Who thought Bruce could be such a bad person. Jason likes bad people. Ha, something in common with Bruce.

Dick was wondering who was Bruce's date. I mean, he felt betrayed because Bruce never told him he was seening someone. And surprised too, because he was rubbing it on Clark's face because he doesn't have someone. It's not like he is jealous of his Dad's love. Nothing can change, right?

Tim was sleepy, and so he was in the sky.

Damian sensing everything. Thought it was funny seenig his Father to show he had someone. Of course he needed to know if this mysterious person is worthy to be with his Father. But aside from that, now he knows Father won't be with that Amazonian who is NOT worthy of his Father's heart. And this incompetent imbeciles that they call the Justice League to not question Father's private life. They always said, why so dark, why don't you let us help you? With the attitude you eill never have someone. That is why the Batfamily is there not them.

Batman knows what his children are thinking, BECAUSE HE IS BATMAN. This was the FUN part.

Terry, yes Terry, who everyone meet when they retuned from being lost in dimensions. (Making stuff up).

Is a bitch just like Bruce, and he doesn't mind Bruce being with Joker. He was just a hero for fun, meaning he doesn't care about people being killed so of course he had to open his mouth. "Well, yeah, I mean this is an emergency and all, but imagine the leaguers coming naked with boners, because you know it's valentine's day"

Holy shit that made it. Evryone looked at Batman's private parts. Luckily he finished his business before, imagine coming to the watchtower with joker on top of him, naked, balls out and everything. Bruce's face red and moaning, and arching. Because come on, Joker doesn't care, he would just thrust Batman harder and laugh.

That would be hilarious, but Jason would kill him, and no one would dare to see him to the face anymore. Still, Bruce didn't care about the part 'unheathy' of his relationship with Joker. Maybe that's why he was acting like a bitch.

"I don't think that's appropiate" said Wonder Woman who was mad. It seemed. Hah neither Bruce, Oliver, or Terry cared.

Nightwing felt jealousy because of Terry, Bruce got along with him a lot. Terry one day just knocked the door and said 'Hey, bitches I came for my heritages'

Flashback

"Hey, bitches I came for my heritage" Terry was eating gum, with black glasses. Looking like a total badass.

The Batkids were looking him with suspicion. Until Bruce came and said "Terry... OH MY GOD, TERRY I FORGOTT ABOUT YOU!!"

"yeah, yeah, whatever, let's go to a bar or something"

The kids just turned to Bruce for an explanation.

Flashback end

Turns out, Bruce had being living in two dimensions at once. And when he woke up in their dimension. He just forgot about the other one. So now Terry was here.

"Oh, look someone naked"

Everyone turned to the door and there it was Plastic Man naked. "Leave" said Batman, he just leaved.

"Father, I demand to know who this 'mysterious' person is" Damian walked to Bruce glaring at him.

"Robin I never interfere with people's love life, and that's for everyone, so I think is unfair for you to demand me this, but I know you, so I can tell you, my partner is worthy"

"Bruce, can we talk to you alone" said Dick

The JLA was got out of the room.

"Bruce, Damian is right, you don't normally show your love life"

"I was just teletransported here, you saw Plastic Man"

"Well, but at least you can tells us you she is" said Tim concern for his Dad.

"No, but he is great, so just leave it alone" that look meant, we're done here, they still had to discuss the alien planet in their solar system.

"He?" Asked Jason. Everyone was shocked.

"???, yes, he" reasured Bruce. "What?"

"It's just that we didn't know you were gay" said Dick.

"Since when are you homosexual, Father" said Damian.

"Since always, I am bisexual"

"Oh" said Tim. "Then everyone is gay"

"Yes" said Bruce. "This changes nothing you know, I still love you all, more than anything" he said after his kid's faces were uncertain about the subject.

"Awww, this is a moment, isn't?" Dick grabbed them all.

"Ahhh, why wonder boy, you ?" Said Jason. "Unhand me Grayson" Tim was falling asleep in Bruce's arms. Terry just said "Is it always like this?"

After the hug...

"Well, let's get the work over" he ate the chocolate.

Joker was going to laugh when he hears about this.


End file.
